TRUST ME!!!

TRUST. What is life without it? How can you have success without it? Love without it? Miracles without it? Trust and faith are synonymous!

Releasing control is trust. Letting go of people, places and things is trust. Balance is trust. With every disappointment the only means to recoup is in TRUST.

Patience is a virtue. Let go and let God. Stop TRYING. Worrying solves nothing. Everything in due time.

So often we remind ourselves of all the cliches that are trust. Post great quotes on Twitter and our FB pages. Read awesome insights in books and magazines. Looking for the confidence and support from everything and anything around us. Grasping at whatever helps us to feel a little stronger. A little more confident. A little more occupied. Accomplished.

YOU know what its like to feel like your blowing in the wind. I know I do! Isn't it interesting how some will bask in it and be whimsical and others develop REST-LESS-NESSSS! I've done both. The older we get, the more responsibilities we have, the harder it seems to be whimsical. If we are not careful we forget to dance.

It's OK! All of this is ok. Sometimes, even during great strides we come to a lull that seems endless - that frustration of knowing what you want and not being sure of what the best next step is to set things in motion. EXHAUSTION. FEAR. In balance we need to be passive but aggressive in forward motion don't we? Even when we are happy we are searching and challenging ourselves. At least we SHOULD be! What is life without living, teaching, learning and giving. Along the way our needs are ALWAYS met, and we know it when we just remain GRATEFUL. Our happiness should not come from what we can say we have, or have done. No need for comparison, mind how much we care about what OTHERS think and expect of us. It's just a little trust in ourselves and in the plan for our greatness no matter the format.

Happiness should come from being who we are undeniably. Not smugly with no apologies, but THANKFULLY with no apologies.

Trust me ;-)

What's That Spring in Your Step???

IT"S SPRING TIME BABY!!!

I woke up this morning thankful for my recent receptivity to my dreams. There has been a bunch of subconscious activity going on these nights, helping to clear things up and heighten my awareness....There's some NEWNESS goin on!

As for many, the past 3 year stretch has been TRYING times. Emotional, financial, physical. So many lessons learned. Growing pains. Rights of passage. Many moments were like handling a fish out of water - just hard to grip...difficult to manage under the circumstances! Then there is that familiar feeling of warmth from the bright light that is "just 'round the ben". A very familiar friend for most I hope, ain't it? It's only a decision to accept that comrade. I've come to appreciate that that friend should never cease to exist if we're committed to consistent progress, so I invite it to stay an infinite while. STAY around the corner and keep keepin us warm on our path!

It's an interesting time. I'm peepin my people, FB friends and all ;-)

Seems like everywhere I turn there is an abundance of busy energy grabbin folks up. Cheering folks up. Breaks coming left and right. New opportunities, new motivations, new loves, new hopes. I feel a new milestone, a new place opening up. Not sure what it is exactly, but there is certainly a new bridge being extended and I'm excited about crossing it. Clarity for what TRULY MATTERS. Every time you think you know....It's this gift of awareness that keeps maturing at the pace and perspective that's appropriate for our individual roles in this life. Inching toward COMFORTABLE NAKEDNESS. No image to LIVE UP to. Just OUR image. No smoke and mirrors, no mask, no facade. JUST you. JUST me. Quirky me. Not so good with the details but always workin on it me. Wishing I was more of this, less of that but I ain't no where close to suicidal over it me. Open minded, fair, proud, nonchalant whimsical, particular, solid with me ME. We're getting a little better at this e'ry day, no?
(If you ain't get on board homie!)

In appreciation for what the change of seasons brings, letting those March showers wash away the smut, the clutter, the bad attitude, the grudges, the resentment, the negative, the OLD and let this Spring sunshine harvest the new!

Cheers to that SPRING in our steps!

A Matter of Perspective

I've had a situation with a relationship that challenges me. It's difficult to express the depth of it all without details and goodness knows I've never been good at being "surface". I've recently been in a position where I've felt I'd been asked or expected to choose in more ways than one; between friendships, value systems, responsibility, peace... It's very sensitive since it is a raw subject, and it stings both ways as I feel my decisions to stand by my values hurts someone who I love very, very dearly and interestingly enough, it also hurts me. It hurts me because it seems the very thing I believed I was loved for is the very thing I'm being reprimanded for. My values, decisions, and temperament is based on the very core of who I am and how I live. In my opinion it is what has made me a good friend and given me a peaceful, welcoming and accomplished existence in this life. It is what my character is built from. It is what I have always been proud of. It is all that I am. In entirety this is a disagreement of how each other handles themselves or has made decisions in a specific scenario. It is a difference of perspective.

A persons perspective is not just an opinion, it is a view point based on life experiences and mind set. Ultimately it is based on an individuals set of values. It is a persons character build that makes their perspective and it is not as black and white as wrong or right. Maybe like the comparison of Malcolm X and Martin Luther King Jr where a similar destination is intended but the fundamentals for achieving it are antonymous. I've never been much of a grudge holder or a fan of resentment and although I am disappointed by the awakening of this circumstance I will always have love and appreciation for the gift of friendship we were able to keep through such a significant stretch of time. I'm sorry for the hurt between us. I know that perspective is everything but love is omnipotent.

Cheers.

I'mma Always B An Around The Way Girl...

Today was a laundry day.

Although the laundromat is next door I enjoyed my little trecks back and forth. It was cool to take in the sunny crisp brisk almost winter air. More than that, it was cool to reconnect with the 'round the wayness in this Jersey City Heights neighbor-hood I have adopted for the past 7 years. Surely at nearly 31 I can easily pass for a 17 year old when I'm rockin my afro in a tight puff, big hooped earrings, Dunks, baggy sweats and hooded sweater :-) I embrace it. What made me smile was the wobble out of my building with two stuffed laundry bags and a gigantic wholesale container of Tide (accidentally tossed my empty normal sized bottle). A young gentleman thug eagerly offers, "Can I help you with that"? Of course my pride answers, "No thank you, I'm good" with a big Kool Aid smile. He responds, "Your beautiful" and I thank him, again with the big Kool Aid...gotta love the round the way love!

I get started loading the machines when the electricity goes out...oh yeah, I'm around the way, lol. It quickly recovered itself and I carried on getting change and pouring fabric softener while somehow being entertained by a Spanish talk show blaring on the TV. You don't have to understand the words to know when a woman is scorned, tehe!

I tripped over a few kids who shoulda been in school....

Top it off with the gentleman dred who encourages me to slow down or I might hit a wall, then offers to help me fold LOL.

I'm the "good girl" next door from Far Rockaway, Queens. I know "Around the Way", but I forget it until a day like today.

Cheers to the "Hoods"!

It Ain't About You!

This seems to be a reoccurring topic of discussion lately so I'mma speak on it :-)

Have you ever experienced this deep desire to be of help to someone and wondered why you were not "appreciated" for your attempts to "help" them?

Ahhhh yes! I've been there to some degree. You know the saying, "you can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved"? True isn't it? In the wrong context it can also be a little righteous...There's always a bit of self satisfaction that comes with assisting. It's that always present universal law of balance. What puts it off kilter is the righteousness that can come from the person offering assistance. That "if it wasn't for me" or "I'm just trying to help you out" attitude.

Not everyone that is "stuck" falls into the category of a person who doesn't want to be saved. Understand that people have their own process and it is ONLY about their due time. I promise you there has been a point where someone thought YOU were the one who didn't want to be saved! If you truly want to be helpful throw out the judgement and self concern and just be there. Passively. Offer your words of encouragement without pressing or expending your own energy. When words are placed they ALWAYS resonate, even if it takes three years and someone else repeating it and then getting credit for it when it finally clicks....haha! Don't ya love that lol!

Remember, each of us has their own path and it is a series of events that takes us to that place that "clicks" in our own DUE TIME. He's always on time =)

So if your looking to be of help to someone remember to be selfless by means of offering space and time with an occasional word or helping hand. Never give more than you can afford to loose or you'll have a hell of a hard time to give again!

Cheers to a helping hand!

FORGIVENESS...

I advised someone I was once very close to that forgiveness would quiet the anger and resentment they felt toward another. I tried to explain that it didn't mean that they had to speak to that person again. Forgive them from a distance. Unfortunately, they didn't quite grasp what I was saying or perhaps they were uninterested in the effort that it would take to fogive. They didn't understand that forgiving was for their own benefit.

Ironically, I am writing today about my need to exercise the same theory toward the person I once advised it to. I realize that although I decided a long time ago to walk away and "let go", I haven't let go of it all. It's that damn resentment. Anyone who knows me knows I can't stand to be disrespected and quite frankly I have never in my life been as disrespected on so many occasions and so many levels as I had by this person. A recent event caused me to remember and reflect on the endless series of events that I eventually decided to free myself of.

Once my vision was clear the decision to move on was the easy part since I was moving on from a place that lacked anything in my favor. My recent reflection let me know I had to do something with that negative energy I found stashed away. I can't wait till I can remember without feeling such animosity. I thought that just because I understood the psyche behind the series of events, made the decision not to "wish karma" and have been doing my thing that I was good. Now I know for sure I have another step to take to complete my growth from the experience to make it worth it's weight. I know knowing this puts me ahead of the game. I'm just not sure what I actually "do" to close that door. How do you invoke forgiveness? Wish I could snap a finger! Maybe being conscious is the key and time is the cure?

Cheers...

Damn that Humble Pie!

I have said openly that I have a superiority complex. Not that I think I am better than anyone, but I tend to chuckle at those that act as though they are better than me or anyone else. In this world EVERYONE has a gift, talent, strength and/or experience that exceeds their neighbor. The law of balance would assume that in the same right everyone has something to learn from their neighbor. I am reminded that this life is about give and take, helping and being helped. I am far from perfect with this but I am conscious of it. Sooo... I've been reminded to keep that little feisty ego in check.

I got re-dealt some humility the other day when a friend told me "you need to get over yourself"! Whoa. Truth is, I know there is truth to that statement. I immediately responded, "yeah, that is true..." lol! The topic of discussion was the ailment with my back that was diagnosed as Sciatica. I told him that I am prideful and having this kind of "weakness" as I described it, drives me crazy because I don't like asking for help with things that I feel I should be able to do on my own. I don't like to seem as though I am whining. It is obvious why he would retort that way after hearing me say something like that and I surely deserved it. I am definitely one of those people who isn't quick to ask for help. I am the kind of lady that will tell a man, "let me help you with that". The killer combo is that I can be rather stubborn as well. I pride myself on being ABLE.

You know how it feels when someone tells you, "it could be worse" or "there are so many people going through it too"? Don't so many of us feel "Yeah, that is all true and I'm thankful BUT I'm talking about what's going on with ME right now"! I guess the difficulty comes in balancing gratitude with ambition. Being able to be thankful in our quest for more...I decided to be thankful that this Sciatica is not at its worst and to do what I gotta do to weaken its symptoms and HUMBLY strengthen my core - physically, mentally and spiritually.

Cheers to humility!